Ok, this is it. I am putting it out there for all of you to read (or just for myself to read because lets be honest, who reads this anyway) I am making a change. There I said it. Now that my proclamation of change has been announced in the virtual world, I have to do it. Right?
Change is a good thing, its hard, I never quite seem to understand it, but change is what makes life move. So I am told anyways. I think you can chalk that last sentence up to be something that "they" would say.
I WILL make a change.
I am sure by now you are dying to know what this "change" is. Join the club pally. I don't even know what it is, I just know that some sort of change needs to happen in my life.
Don't you ever get to a point in your life where you crave change? It can be the simplest thing from switching from 2% milk to 1%, walking the stairs instead of taking the elevator, a new hair color, a new style, changing your attitude about something or someone, brushing your teeth before you get in the shower instead of after...I don't know, something....anything.
Changing something doesn't mean your unhappy with it, it simply means you are ready for something new or different. I feel like when you start to get the itch that a change is needed, its your mind telling you, "go ahead little one...jump."
Jump into something you have never done before. Jump into something you have always wanted to do. Jump into something you HATE doing. Jump higher, jump faster, jump longer, jump like you never have before and see how it feels. Jump into it, whatever it may be, with no regrets, no holding back, no caution.
So here I go, eyes closed, nose plugged, I am jumping.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
"Its a little hot in these Rhinoooos...."
It is that awkward time of year again in Minnesota that everyone commonly refers to as fall. I hate it. It's hot, it's cold, it's rainy, it's sunny and that more than likely is all in the same day. I can't stand it! Pick a temp and go with it already!!
So I sweat it out, waiting for the temps to drop, and I sweat, and I sweat and I sweat some more...after trying with every ounce of my being to ignore the perspiration building up on my forward and making a nice home underneath my armpits...I GIVE UP! I turn the air on. I bath in all of its cool cool glory. So you think my problem has been solved do you? WRONG...just as the stains underneath my oh so sweaty pits are finally beginning to recede, the temp DROPS. IT DROPS! For goddsakes give me a damn break.
And typically this is the time that someone would walk into the office and ask, "why is the air on, its freezing outside,"...
Yeah buddy, tell me about it.
So I sweat it out, waiting for the temps to drop, and I sweat, and I sweat and I sweat some more...after trying with every ounce of my being to ignore the perspiration building up on my forward and making a nice home underneath my armpits...I GIVE UP! I turn the air on. I bath in all of its cool cool glory. So you think my problem has been solved do you? WRONG...just as the stains underneath my oh so sweaty pits are finally beginning to recede, the temp DROPS. IT DROPS! For goddsakes give me a damn break.
And typically this is the time that someone would walk into the office and ask, "why is the air on, its freezing outside,"...
Yeah buddy, tell me about it.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Too much drama in the STMA...its so hard being Double D-Monaaay
Aggressive is the word of the day ladies and gentlemen!!
The Vikings lost, I woke up late, I spilled coffee all over my desk, I hate what I am wearing, and I feel like a troll. And that typically isn't the way you want to start off a Friday.
I have a perma-frown on today...meaning my brow is permanently furrowed. The wrinkle that is forming between my eyebrows from years of furrowing will become forever embedded on my face. I also feel like I am snarling at people when I look at them, like everything I say is through gritted teeth and a curled lip. After today, botox will be required to erase the damage that today shall bring.
Sometimes, every once in awhile, its good to just be down right nasty, to have a little edge on every word that comes out of your mouth. To give a look that would make the ice queen shiver, to spit fire with every breath.
My mother would say this would the "Hunt" side of my brain taking over. She would tell me to stand up, spin around three times, and shake it out of me. Not today. It won't work, I have already tried it. I am 100% Hunt today, not an inch of Kappes will be able to creep its way out.
So, if I run into you today...I gave you a fair warning :)
Later Days,
DMD
The Vikings lost, I woke up late, I spilled coffee all over my desk, I hate what I am wearing, and I feel like a troll. And that typically isn't the way you want to start off a Friday.
I have a perma-frown on today...meaning my brow is permanently furrowed. The wrinkle that is forming between my eyebrows from years of furrowing will become forever embedded on my face. I also feel like I am snarling at people when I look at them, like everything I say is through gritted teeth and a curled lip. After today, botox will be required to erase the damage that today shall bring.
Sometimes, every once in awhile, its good to just be down right nasty, to have a little edge on every word that comes out of your mouth. To give a look that would make the ice queen shiver, to spit fire with every breath.
My mother would say this would the "Hunt" side of my brain taking over. She would tell me to stand up, spin around three times, and shake it out of me. Not today. It won't work, I have already tried it. I am 100% Hunt today, not an inch of Kappes will be able to creep its way out.
So, if I run into you today...I gave you a fair warning :)
Later Days,
DMD
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Slackin Dube
I have been at work for almost 4 hours...and have done nothing.
I mean I have done a little, browsed through some emails, answered some deleted others, but for the most part...little could possibly be an understatement.
I couldn't tell you why I am so unproductive today...lack of motivation more than likely plays a huge part in it.
What can I say some days I am 'on' and some days I am 'off'...
I am turning 25 on Sunday...could this be the beginning of a quarter life crisis?! Before you know it, I will be sleeping with the pool boy and have a red Mazda Miata parked in my driveway.
Lord help us all.
I mean I have done a little, browsed through some emails, answered some deleted others, but for the most part...little could possibly be an understatement.
I couldn't tell you why I am so unproductive today...lack of motivation more than likely plays a huge part in it.
What can I say some days I am 'on' and some days I am 'off'...
I am turning 25 on Sunday...could this be the beginning of a quarter life crisis?! Before you know it, I will be sleeping with the pool boy and have a red Mazda Miata parked in my driveway.
Lord help us all.
Monday, August 16, 2010
MN on my mind
I am a MN girl. Born and raised. Always have been and always will be but I will always wonder if there was something more...
When your in high school the world is so big and so are your dreams. You can do anything. You WILL be someone and you WILL do something with your life. So you sign up for college, because that is what is expected of you, that is what your supposed to do, that is what everyone does, and all of a sudden September rolls around and there you are...in college. But its not the college you always dreamed you would be in. Its a college that is close to home, and it's affordable...for you and the bank "granting" you your loans.
You finish at your average college, you get your average degree (mainly because you thought extracuricular activities were for the birds/nerds) and you go off into the real world.
Bills come. A mortgage comes. Before you know it you are repaying off your student loans for your education you can barely remember having. And your still in MN.
I have always dreamed of living somewhere else...some place where the sun never sets and the weather is always warm. Some place far away from here where everywhere you go you see a familiar face, someone who knows your past, someone who knows where you came from and probably has some judgement on who you will be when you "grow up."
My friends have done it...why can't I? Why can't I pack my bags and my dog and me and get in the car and just drive....keep driving until I run out of gas and the first town I come to... shack up. Is that crazy?
I could do it...I like to think I could anyway.
I admire my friends who have done that. Follow their heart and take a chance.
Now don"t get me wrong...I am not saying I have regrets about what has transpired in my life and where I am today...I am very grateful for what I have in my life...but is it wrong to listen to that tiny little voice in the back of my mind that says.."go...just go."
Why can't I be a California girl? Or a southern belle? I like to think that I would be a very cute country girl, throw a cowboy hat on this blonde head and give me a plaid shirt and I would fit right in down in Leeesiana, the Carolinas, or maybe even Texas.
But in my heart of hearts....I am a MN girl. Who am I kidding? I love that I say booooat. I love living for May...I count down the days from when football season starts to when baseball season begins. I live for the weekends on the lake, long drives up north and weekends filled with weddings. Minnesota summers are something everyone should experience before they die. It should be on everyone's bucket list...a summer in MN.
Thats why I stay here...waiting patiently (or not so patiently in my case:)) for those summer days and nights and Minnesota offers.
So this is the MN girl dilemma, we all want to leave, and some of us get the courage to actaully do it, but our hearts will always be here...in the land of 10,000 lakes....the land of four seasons, northern lights and starry nights....cheese curds and the GREAT MN State Fair....95 degree days and mosquito filled nights....country girl roots and BIG city girl dreams.
Later days,
DMD
When your in high school the world is so big and so are your dreams. You can do anything. You WILL be someone and you WILL do something with your life. So you sign up for college, because that is what is expected of you, that is what your supposed to do, that is what everyone does, and all of a sudden September rolls around and there you are...in college. But its not the college you always dreamed you would be in. Its a college that is close to home, and it's affordable...for you and the bank "granting" you your loans.
You finish at your average college, you get your average degree (mainly because you thought extracuricular activities were for the birds/nerds) and you go off into the real world.
Bills come. A mortgage comes. Before you know it you are repaying off your student loans for your education you can barely remember having. And your still in MN.
I have always dreamed of living somewhere else...some place where the sun never sets and the weather is always warm. Some place far away from here where everywhere you go you see a familiar face, someone who knows your past, someone who knows where you came from and probably has some judgement on who you will be when you "grow up."
My friends have done it...why can't I? Why can't I pack my bags and my dog and me and get in the car and just drive....keep driving until I run out of gas and the first town I come to... shack up. Is that crazy?
I could do it...I like to think I could anyway.
I admire my friends who have done that. Follow their heart and take a chance.
Now don"t get me wrong...I am not saying I have regrets about what has transpired in my life and where I am today...I am very grateful for what I have in my life...but is it wrong to listen to that tiny little voice in the back of my mind that says.."go...just go."
Why can't I be a California girl? Or a southern belle? I like to think that I would be a very cute country girl, throw a cowboy hat on this blonde head and give me a plaid shirt and I would fit right in down in Leeesiana, the Carolinas, or maybe even Texas.
But in my heart of hearts....I am a MN girl. Who am I kidding? I love that I say booooat. I love living for May...I count down the days from when football season starts to when baseball season begins. I live for the weekends on the lake, long drives up north and weekends filled with weddings. Minnesota summers are something everyone should experience before they die. It should be on everyone's bucket list...a summer in MN.
Thats why I stay here...waiting patiently (or not so patiently in my case:)) for those summer days and nights and Minnesota offers.
So this is the MN girl dilemma, we all want to leave, and some of us get the courage to actaully do it, but our hearts will always be here...in the land of 10,000 lakes....the land of four seasons, northern lights and starry nights....cheese curds and the GREAT MN State Fair....95 degree days and mosquito filled nights....country girl roots and BIG city girl dreams.
Later days,
DMD
the life of a thinking Dube
I have a lot of stuff rolling around in this big ol' brain of mine...will share more later.
I am going to make a list to organize my thoughts.
I think I have OCLMD...obsessive compulsive list making disease.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Wednesday...i feel so...impartial about you.
Work is getting crazy.
I wish someone would ask, "how's the workload?"
Than I would bombard them with over one million questions about how am I doing, what am I doing, and why am I doing this.
At times I feel like this is something I should have been doing my entire life, at others....I feel like I have no idea what I am doing and sooner or later they are going to figure that out. So for now I am just biding my time, until I am caught.
Have you ever seen the movie..."Don't tell mom the babysitters dead?" Christina Appelgate has to go get a job because they are running out of money, well she gets it and has absolutely no idea what she is doing...but they treat her like she has been in the biz forever and she gets totally overwhelmed but is able to snake her way through....that's me. I am Christina Appelgate. Minus the 80's shoulder pads. I didn't lie on my resume but I feel like everything is whirling around me at 100 mph and I am eventually going to be left in the dust.
I can't let that happen. The buckling down must start. "Put some elbow grease into it," as my dad would say. I am going to stand in front of the fire hose, and not move.
Keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
I wish someone would ask, "how's the workload?"
Than I would bombard them with over one million questions about how am I doing, what am I doing, and why am I doing this.
At times I feel like this is something I should have been doing my entire life, at others....I feel like I have no idea what I am doing and sooner or later they are going to figure that out. So for now I am just biding my time, until I am caught.
Have you ever seen the movie..."Don't tell mom the babysitters dead?" Christina Appelgate has to go get a job because they are running out of money, well she gets it and has absolutely no idea what she is doing...but they treat her like she has been in the biz forever and she gets totally overwhelmed but is able to snake her way through....that's me. I am Christina Appelgate. Minus the 80's shoulder pads. I didn't lie on my resume but I feel like everything is whirling around me at 100 mph and I am eventually going to be left in the dust.
I can't let that happen. The buckling down must start. "Put some elbow grease into it," as my dad would say. I am going to stand in front of the fire hose, and not move.
Keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
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